Fix self_main_loop exit code, [!] false positive, state race

- Exit 0 on success (was 1 when prompts sent, confusing systemd)
- [!] flag now uses word-boundary regex excluding hyphenated
  identities (operator-646 no longer triggers; 'operator needed' does)
- State writes now hold fcntl exclusive lock with fresh reload,
  preventing timer check from clobbering enable/disable changes

Session: sidechat/chromebox-ops

bin/self_main_loop.py

@@ -21,7 +21,7 @@ First run per agent starts at the current newest message (no backfill spam).
 
 Contract:
   - No new messages -> silent (no sidechat post), exit 0.
-  - Digests sent    -> exit 1.
+  - Digests sent    -> exit 0 (success; prompted count in JSON).
   - Read/send error -> logged to stderr, exit 2 (timer stays alive).
   - Overlap guard: fcntl LOCK_EX|LOCK_NB on a lockfile; a second
     concurrent run prints {"ok": false, "skipped": "already running"}
@@ -34,8 +34,10 @@ stderr (systemd journal).
 import fcntl
 import json
 import os
+import re
 import subprocess
 import sys
+from contextlib import contextmanager
 from datetime import datetime, timezone
 
 BASE = "/home/super/Projects/NetVM"
@@ -44,6 +46,7 @@ BOX_CHAT = os.path.join(BIN, "box-chat.py")
 DM_PY = os.path.join(BIN, "dm.py")
 STATE_FILE = os.path.join(BASE, "self-main-loop-watermark.json")
 LOCK_FILE = os.path.join(BASE, "self-main-loop.lock")
+STATE_LOCK_FILE = os.path.join(BASE, "self-main-loop-state.lock")
 
 DEFAULT_AGENTS = ["muse", "pip", "646", "opm"]
 # Prompting sidechat per agent — mirrors box-ctl.py NOTIFY_SIDECHATS.
@@ -60,6 +63,28 @@ SEND_TIMEOUT = 180
 DIGEST_MAX = 600  # well under dm.py's 1000-char non-raw truncation
 PREVIEW_MAX = 120
 
+# Word-boundary "operator" that does NOT match hyphenated identities like
+# "operator-646" (the "-" counts as a boundary for \b, so we exclude it
+# explicitly). "operator needed" matches; "operator-646" does not.
+OPERATOR_RE = re.compile(r"(?<![\w-])operator(?![\w-])", re.IGNORECASE)
+
+
+@contextmanager
+def state_locked():
+    """Exclusive lock for load-modify-save on the state file.
+
+    Prevents the timer's check (mid-run save) from clobbering an
+    enable/disable change that landed during the slow chat reads.
+    Held only for the brief critical section, never across network I/O.
+    """
+    fh = open(STATE_LOCK_FILE, "w")
+    try:
+        fcntl.flock(fh, fcntl.LOCK_EX)
+        yield
+    finally:
+        fcntl.flock(fh, fcntl.LOCK_UN)
+        fh.close()
+
 
 def utcnow():
     return datetime.now(timezone.utc).strftime("%Y-%m-%dT%H:%M:%SZ")
@@ -152,7 +177,7 @@ def compose_digest(agent, new):
     for m in new[:5]:
         text = (m.get("text") or "").strip().replace("\n", " ")
         q = " [?]" if "?" in text else ""
-        hot = " [!]" if ("operator" in text.lower() or "urgent" in text.lower()) else ""
+        hot = " [!]" if (OPERATOR_RE.search(text) or "urgent" in text.lower()) else ""
         lines.append("- %s: %s%s%s" % (author_of(m), text[:PREVIEW_MAX], q, hot))
     if len(new) > 5:
         lines.append("(+%d more)" % (len(new) - 5))
@@ -231,19 +256,24 @@ def do_check(only_agent=None):
             results[agent] = {"ok": False, "error": detail, "new": len(new)}
             errors += 1
 
-    st["agents"] = agents_state
-    st["last_run"] = utcnow()
-    st["last_result"] = {"prompted": prompted, "errors": errors,
+    # Save under the state lock with a fresh reload: an enable/disable may
+    # have landed during the slow chat reads; preserve its config changes
+    # and only update the keys this run owns (watermarks, last_run/result).
+    with state_locked():
+        fresh = load_state()
+        fresh["agents"] = agents_state
+        fresh["last_run"] = utcnow()
+        fresh["last_result"] = {"prompted": prompted, "errors": errors,
                                 "agents": results}
-    # Preserve operator-edited config; seed defaults on first run.
-    if "config" not in st:
-        st["config"] = {"agents": cfg["agents"],
+        # Seed defaults on first run; otherwise preserve operator-edited config.
+        if "config" not in fresh:
+            fresh["config"] = {"agents": cfg["agents"],
                                "prompt_sidechat": cfg["prompt_sidechat"],
                                "sender": cfg["sender"],
                                "read_limit": cfg["read_limit"],
                                "enabled": dict(cfg.get("enabled") or
                                                {a: True for a in cfg["agents"]})}
-    save_state(st)
+        save_state(fresh)
     return {"ok": errors == 0, "prompted": prompted, "errors": errors,
             "new_total": sum(r.get("new", 0) for r in results.values()),
             "agents": results}
@@ -251,6 +281,7 @@ def do_check(only_agent=None):
 
 def _set_enabled(agent, value):
     """Enable/disable the loop for one agent (or all if agent is None)."""
+    with state_locked():
         st = load_state()
         cfg = st.get("config") or {}
         agents = cfg.get("agents") or list(DEFAULT_AGENTS)
@@ -320,7 +351,7 @@ def main(argv):
     print(json.dumps(result))
     if not result.get("ok"):
         return 2
-    return 1 if result.get("prompted") else 0
+    return 0
 
 
 if __name__ == "__main__":